I need to be truthful to myself
I need to feel beloved by myself

If you know what I mean
Can you be on my team
It isn't about the sex
But the sex is good
It is about soul touching soul

I fell in love
I knew I was
I knew you knew nothing
When I thought of you
My insides hurt
And my heart burned

But when the world turned
And I left
I cried
Sorrow in my soul
I thought you would never be mine

It was fine as long as I could see you
Look at you on the street
Imagine what you felt like
Imagine what you sounded like
Imagine what you loved like
But that would never be mine


What was I to do?
Follow you?
No
No hope in that
I was weird
It made you turn
It made me burn

Even when I was gone
You never left me
On my mind every night
I didn't feel right
I cried
I wrote letters
To tell you I loved you
But not anymore

It was a lie
I never stopped loving you
So many letters
So many lies
So many nights

My soul knew you somewhere before
It knew your soul
It couldn't let go
So I couldn't let go

I still feel dumb
For fighting for you
I fought when I thought you didn't care
But I was the one that didn't care

I wanted you to talk to me for hours
I wanted you to look upon me with wonder
I wanted you to see my love

I remember when I watched you watch TV
I tripped on you
I hit the ground face first
So close, yet so far
It wasn't fair

Nothing is as fair as you are now
You hold a power over me that I cannot be rid of
You could do anything to me
And I'd let you
It feels wrong
To let you get away with murder
 But I can't help myself

I don't want to lose you
I feel like you might find someone better
Someone who knows what their doing
I don't know what I'm doing
I don't know how to love you and make you happy
I know only you can make you happy
But I need to know I could do it
I don't know that
I don't know that there isn't someone who loves you more than I
Someone who you may love more

I feel dumb
You needed know this
I was in love with you for so long